Verse 1
You've got the house, you've got the ring,
The settled life and everything,
But every time my phone lights up,
You want the dirt, you want the blood.
“Is this the one?” ... you know it's not,
You just wanna hear how bad it got,
You pour the wine, I spill the truth,
I'm making bad decisions so you don't have to.
Pre-Chorus
You don't need Tinder, you don't need bars,
You get your kicks from all my scars...
Chorus
You live vicariously through me,
All the thrills without the jeopardy,
Every car crash, every kiss,
Every red flag that I somehow missed.
You've got forever waiting back at home,
I've got another “we should talk” on my phone,
You got the comfort and security...
And all the bad decisions come from me.
Verse 2
You want the names, you want the score,
What went down when I walked out the door,
“Was it them?” “Or was it you?”
Usually, honestly, one of the two.
You shake your head like you disapprove,
Then ask for every dirty detail too,
Your settled life is going fine...
So apparently the drar-ma has to come from mine.
Pre-Chorus
You don't need Tinder, you don't need bars,
You get your kicks from all my scars...
Chorus
You live vicariously through me,
All the thrills without the jeopardy,
Every car crash, every kiss,
Every red flag that I somehow missed.
You've got forever waiting back at home,
I've got another “we should talk” on my phone,
You got the comfort and security...
And all the bad decisions come from me.
Bridge
Someday I might settle down,
Find someone and stick around,
You'll swear to God you're pleased for me...
Then wonder what the hell you'll watch on TV.
Final Chorus
You lived vicariously through me,
All the chaos with a guarantee,
Every car crash, every kiss,
Every warning sign I somehow missed.
Maybe one day I'll get off this ride,
Find somebody and stay by their side,
Then what the hell are you gonna do
When I've got nothing left to report to you?